your smile, it huuuurrrttts me.

The weekend starts off SHIT.
Yup, fully got ready to go out last night for Jennifer Tsai's birthday at Babyface. Before I left the house, I remembered I didn't have my ID on me so I went back to my room to fetch it but I couldn't find it anywhere. The usual place I leave it is in my bag but I checked in there at least five times (my bag has no secret pockets either) and checked high and low, from my bed, my desk, floor, from the window to the wall. Wasn't anywhere to be found.
Headed out to the City without it, planning to NOT go Babyface. I couldn't anyway because I had no form of ID at all. A lot of people were going out last night and I became eager to go as well, I made my friend drive me home so I could search for it again, no luck. Wasted his time, got him into trouble. Ended up staying home, online, doing jack shit.


Actually, I went onto Deviant Art to look for some Silhouette Tree photos, the peach blossom ones but they didn't have the ones I wanted. Managed to find ONE nice one.

I plan to draw this on my bedroom wall, then paint it myself. Hopefully, it turns out good.

Don't think I'm going out today. No clubs are open, I don't think. Because of ANZAC day tomorrow. Neeko's and Mylinhs party is on, don't feel like going. Don't feel like seeing certain people.




Still missing Huy.

Your soul is beautiful .. ..

Okayyyyyy, I'm so freakin' emo right now. No, it's not to do with guy problems or family and that shit. It's because I went on Ebay to look for this camera: Sanyo Xacti C1. A camera my aunt gave me for my birthday in 2007... which I brought to Schoolies - it got went by the huge wave on the last day and damaged my camera. Pretty sad really.. I couldn't upload the photos after that, not even when I stuck it into a different camera or shoved the SD card into my computer. I had so many awesome photos in there too.

Those memories I shared with Seniors of '07. You know, Alice Nguyen, Natalie Dillon, Emily Chen, Jenny Truong, Heung Jon-Soon, Hung To, Bruce Le, Eddie Chung, Ardi Muchtar, Timmeh Timmeh (Lol, forgot your last name) Oh, plenty more people but I just can't remember. They were the good times though and was the best memory I had for 2007... washed away. Damn.

I'm still so cut up about it and trying to find the same camera.. Apparently they've discontinued the stock though because this one is pretty shit. It's only 3.2mp but I still love it.. It had awesome movie effects too

Anyway my feet smell and I'm really itchy :/ lol
I accidentally deleted the rest of this post, don't remember what I said and now I can't be screwed thinking of something cool..

rare breed of dog .........

Just a little article I stole out of Nhi's MX.

TRUE FRIENDS A RARE BREED

Most people only have three true friends, if Britain is any guide.

While most adults have up to 22 "mates", most feel they can only truly rely on three of them, research found.
And for three-quarters of us, one of our close friends is a family member.
The survey of 3000 people also found that we have lost touch with an average 24 friends over the years after simply "drifting apart".
Shefali Mattani, a spokeswoman for Nivea, which conducted the research, said: "Most of those polled seemed to have one solid best friend who they have grown up with, one family member and another friend they have either met at university or work."
She said a vast majority of friendships weakened as life got in the way.
"We move from job to job and away from our grass roots and it gets harder to maintain good relationships," she said.
"It is only the really strong friendships which continue despite life's interruptions, and of course family members are often the most reliable and trustworthy people to turn to."
The poll shows just under half of the people surveyed had lost touch with good friends after moving away from a particular area or job, while 29 per cent blamed lack of contact on being busy.
Seven in 10 people said their busy lifestyle meant they were seeing their true friends less.
Although 67 per cent still regularly saw their good friends face to face, two-thirds relied on contact by mobile phone, and 37 per cent by email.
Almost half of the people surveyed - 43 per cent - find themselves opening up to work colleagues to compensate for the fact they are not seeing their friends as much as they'd like.

sometimes, things are easier said than done...

I don't care how long it takes,

I don't mind, I'll sit and wait.

Until the sun goes down,

and comes back up again.

Cos you're the best thing in my life,

without you, it just ain't right.

So, take as long as you like.


I w i l l s t i l l b e w a i t i n g . . .

this strange love caught me by surprise . . .

Wishing this was a photo of us . . . lol, I'll keep dreaming.

I miss you, HT.

Gold Coast was fail. I wish I stayed back in Brisbane with the Family...
Will be making up for it by going out this weekend with Kim Ong, I think. I hope so.

I don't know what I did to you.

Slowly losing hope......... again.

On a positive note: heading down to the coast today for Ching's birthday. Finally finished her video also, rushed job but it's still pretty good. Completed the video at around 2am, konked out soon after. It was such a mission saving all her photos and trying to put it all together.

Oh, will miss the family tonight. They're going to Mystique while I'll be partying it down at the coast. Hopefully we'll all have fun even though we're far apart. Sounds like I'm leaving forever or something? lol. But seriously, Ohana means family, family means no one gets left behind.

Jun is a dog but I ain't going to hate for that shit.

Must give a huge thank you once again to the family for always making my days more happy, positive and all good words you could think of. Love you guys so much :)

and... I miss Huy Tran.

Since he already knows and I'm pretty sure he hears it all the time, I don't see the point in hiding that from him or anyone, anymore.

Just hope I don't do anything silly tonight. It's funny how I like him so much, if I interact intimately with any other guy it feels like I'm cheating.

Anyway. . . Oh, yeah. Before I forget, I'm making friends with the haters. When I say that I mean, I'm trying to say sorry to those who I've hurt and befriended back in the past. I don't want to be that person anymore, that person that once looked at someone and judged them before I even knew them. I just want to be that girl, everyone points at and says "That chick is awesome, she's really nice" etc :) hahaha. That sounds so gay but I'm trying bitches :P

I'm cool with Truc now. If there's a problem, you can solve it because I won't get caught between anyone's shit anymore.

Dee's words of Wisdom

W: i dont see the point in finding someone
whenever i find someone its not like they like me anyway

D: why is that you're a great person

W: lol a great person personality wise
but i dont seem to have much of a future

D: explain

W: no one really likes failures

D: explain to me how you are a failure, wendy

W: i never finished school
i know i hav a job
but itsnot a good job
its shit pay
its not gonna get me anywhere

D: errr

W: im 20, i dont even have my drivers license

D: dude, it doesn't matter about you... it's the guy who has to secure the future

W: siighhh
its just how i feel, and im constantly getting let down by my mum also
you dont know
how upset i was
when she got angry at me the day after i got my lip piercing
she hates facial piercings

D: oh i remember that fiasco...

W: yeah
that hurt me so bad
everytime something like that happens, my self esteem drops
ever since i've been going out clubbing and all with my friends, its made me feel better
but at the same time, it makes me look bad
there's always a downside to something
im seriously trying to change
im about to enrol for tafe
i m trying to get my life back on trck
but .. the only person who seems to see that is me

D: :\
well
if you ask me.. you're coming along well
you know at least you're making an effort to get into tafe n shit
you have a JOB
you don't realise how much i've been trying to get one
plus you have friends that love n support you
you don't need nothing else
well i mean
not at the start
you know, it'll all fall into place sooner or later
i mean, prove your mother wrong
prove to her that you are capable of much more than just at home and working and clubbing
you're already making an effort
watch when the day the letter comes in saying you've been accepted to do this that n third
your mum will, most likely, congratulate you
because she is your mother, n she loves you
and with guys
so what he doesn't like you
HIS LOSS, because you would be, in my opinion, a great gf to have
i mean like, so what you don't have a future AT THIS POINT IN TIME
you're still a great person

W: thanks dee

D: doesn't matter what you got, it's what you are
is what i'm trying to say
and i know you can prove everyone wrong by accomplishing your set goals
it takes work, but as with everything in life.
so chin up, be proud n put in the hard yards, dude.
have some fun along the way as well
don't let everything break your stride cus you're a strong person

dancing this dance alone.

Let the... depression kick in.

I got wayy too drunk last night, way off my head for the first time since NYE 2008 at Charlie's. It felt quite good except for the parts where I vomitted. I still remember a lot of the night, parts I want to remember, parts I don't want to remember. The best of it would have been when HE was looking after me and I was hugging him.. awwwwww. Too bad it was a drunken thing and won't really ever happen in my soberness.

Well, I really appreciate those people who stuck by to look after me - Matt, Huy and Quan. Love you guys for it :) But am sorry at the same time for ruin what would have been an awesome night for you guys.

Welpppps, so drunk. HE kept walking away from me when I was trying to hold onto him. I am reallyyy sick of it, I try and fail. This was however, the worst way to do it. Being drunk around him and I'm pretty sure he was quite mad at me for it, so blunt to me this morning, it really hurt.

Blah, I don't know. I am about to let go but when I do, I really hope you don't come to me then, I don't think I'll take you :/ It's hurting me, it hurts so much, my heart feels torn. I can't breathe, arrgh. Why do you have to do this?

It's driving me insane. Your smile, just looking at you, it kills me.

I miss you too much..............

You've got me going crazy.

No venting today, I'm in a super fantastic mood. I feel positive, alive, happy and all the upsy daisy words you'd think of.

Why? You :)

The long weekend is onnnnnn and so far, I've attended Ching's and Maverick's birthday celebrations at the club. That's two events down; two left to go - TNT and Klub Kandy. Although I'm not too sure about Klub Kandy because I have work at 6am the next day and the earliest bus back to Inala is... 8am?

CHINGS

MAVERICKS