im feeling so out of place...

maverick says:
do ittt =p
dont let him drift away wendy

wendie says:
when that time comes.. i'll remind him of what i was to him

maverick says:
awww
ifly
coz ur such a hard cunt
T_T

wendie says:
hahah

maverick says:
no really
u inspire me all the time

wendie says:
aww

maverick says:
u give me strength everytime

wendie says:
*tears of happinesss

maverick says:
i want to hug u
and borrow ur cement mixer

wendie says:
i need one =/
LMFAO

maverick says:
HAHHA

wendie says:
i see how it is..

maverick says:
i wanna hug u
and then u will let me borrow ur cement mixer coz u feel bad for me XD

wendie says:
lmao
im sure everyone has a cement mixer..
no ones learnt how to use it yet ;P

maverick says:
i love that

wendie says:
i mean... not many of them have learnt how to use it
yeah i just made that up on the spot


----------------------------------------

Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry
I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.

some people just don't know their limits.

Life is still shit.

- I love my job at the moment because all I do is serve, bludge, stock, rip up scratchies, bludge, bludge, serve, stock and then I don't have to do much at close (Y). It gets a bit boring though. The atmosphere gets so awkward when the boss is there...

- Finally called up the Australian Tax Office to change my details and they're sending my tax return to my bank account.

- Haven't yet paid for my phone bill that is costing $600? I don't fucking know. Optus is messing with me. Customer service says I owe $600 but I just got a letter today saying I owe $450.

- Other friends problems thrown at me. It's not a bad thing, I love to help them out but it kind of sucks when you have your own problems.

- I'm always a day too late (8) ... Finally regretting something I did in the past and I'm not very happy about it.

- I still hate the fucking bitch.

- I need to get myself organised as soon as I pay off my bill... that's if I can even pay it off!

Bleh. Shitson, there's more but as if you'd want to hear about it :P

I suddenly feel alone again............

Claude Kelly - Always A Day Too Late

I guessed there’s no point saying this now..
Its done and you’re gone..
This doesnt count but now that you’ve gone away..
I’ve realised every day I made a mistake..
You’re the best thing I've ever found.

But now that I want you, you’re moving on..
I tried to call you but nobody’s home..
I didnt know this, til you went away..
I’m always a day too late.

I’m done I know, waiting this long..
There’s no explanation, for letting you go..
And you were right all along..
I missed you bad when you’re gone..
I finally opened my eyes and now im standing alone..

But you ran to me, I didnt want to be bothered..
But now I finally see that you’ve moved onto another..
Now honestly I get the reason why you left..
But damn I wish I had you back..

You're still there for me..

Confess to me, every secret moment
Every stolen promise you believed
Confess to me, all that lies between us
All that lies between you and me......... (8)


Woop! I'm now employed as a full time shop assistant at the Newsagent! Working there is okay. It's pretty easy - I've caught on really fast and may be able to work without supervision on my next shift. The only thing that makes the job hard is when your co-workers never freaking smile! It gives the atmosphere so much awkward tension, it makes me scared to approach the co-workers which isn't a good thing because I may need help. At least some are nice and smile :)

I still have my phone bill to pay off and I'm pretty sure I'm going to owe over $1000 now. I have someone that wants to help me pay it off but I don't feel comfortable with that person doing so. I don't know why? It's weird. Lol. I can't wait until I get my first pay. I should get about $400 at the least? As I am working 38 hours this week and I get paid about $12-14 an hour, I think.

Anyways, been kind of shitty lately. Starting to hate myself again - my life is so screwed. Bleh. My friends are always there to make it better though :) Thank you guys!

Went to Gold Coast last night with Steven, Dimmy, Tim and Chingaling. Zomg, Baskin Robins is deeeeeeliciousssss.. I finished a massive 2 scoop cone myself and I was full! I should have taken a photo of it. The cone was the length of my face :D haha! Zzz

Okay, this is getting lame. I don't think I'll blog as much anymore. Maybe monthly.

starving.. wanting korean barbecue... now.

I finally got a job!!

Now I have to .....

Call Optus and extend payment of my phone bill..
Fix my stupid tax document..
Open a Commonwealth bank account..
Pay back debts to my friends..
Get my fucking Learners..
Get my name changed officially to "Wendy Tran"
Buy Kylie's late present..
andddddddddddddddd save money for unecessary shit..

Hope I get the first few done in time ...

i'll think about it..

all i know is im lost without you, im not gonna lie.

I can't believe it and I don't want to believe it.
My feelings haven't changed.
I still see you as the person I thought you were.
Or maybe I just want to see you that way.

I froze when you told me, jaws dropped.
My eyes started to water and I tried to hold them back.
All that time I thought you were only joking.
Turns out you were being serious.

The only thing I can do now is let go.
I held onto a thread, it's broken now.
I've fallen, fallen so deep for you.
And I've wasted my time.

But I just want to let you know, before I go.
It's become a habit, talking to you on a daily basis.
I've enjoyed your company so much.
I love you, for who you are and I still do.

I have no regrets......

you shall be dubbed; sir kota.

Hi. Shit start to my morning; not enough sleep and my uncle barged into the house and had a go at my mum for a stupid reason. I felt really sorry for her =/
My day gets better ............

- I'm 80% sure I'm getting a puppy, from Tuyen.
- Cammed with Rikki before, Samii knitted him a beanie, so cute!
- I'm chatting to heartheartheartheart :)
- A random said to me "I'm your type of guy" (LOL)
- Some guy from Griffith asked me to model for his portfolios. (Y)
- I found Audition; yippeeeeeee!!!!

Still missing him. Still waiting... Hopefully not too long.
Facebook says another week; like I'm gonna believe it.

uhh yeahhhh.. totally; SHINee - Replay (English)

"nunan neomu yeppeoseo.."
just when I thought I could go
my heart is lost and you're pulling me back again
wishing on a falling star
wish I could be where you are
somehow you came and changed my everything

when you're not around
I just feel a little down
this is kinda silly right... it's not okay to me
and I think I'm gonna hate it boy
if you turn your back on me
I don't wanna let this go ...but I'm wondering*

how do I be careful
not to show you what I dream of
kinda crazy but I
replay replay replay
when we're together
every moment that I treasure
like a movie that I
replay replay replay

you know you're my M.V.P., no one else has got what I need
when it's just us two, I get shy but then you keep it so cool
the way you're always watching out for me
and although I wanna believe
tell me I'm not just imagining..

"nunan neomu yeppeo"
I don't wanna hear it no more
cause I know it's gonna
replay replay replay
keep trying not to fake it
how am I supposed to say it
you're the song that I
replay replay replay

------------

How do I find out the truth? It's too hard to ask you myself or even confess.

You might be telling me you're not ready and I take that as a hint, you don't want to be in any kind of relationship at all and I'm okay with that.
I just want to know.. Do you feel the same way as I do?
It feels like I'm holding onto a thread. It's about to break. I want to know now..
I've told myself I'm letting go, yet I'm still hanging on, only because I know, I can feel it, there's something there. It's holding you back.

I've had the same experience two years ago. He said he doesn't like me, just to push me away but I knew it, deep down he did. Maybe there's a chance, you like me but you don't want to say it.

Zuhmygod, I sound so corny and retarded..........

in this life, im failing... at everything.

Okay, I know this is my second post but I'm freaking bored and desperately need to vent - I don't even know why but I feel as if all of my emotions are bottling up inside and I'm about to explode.

For one, my life in general, is shit. I have no life, I sit at home and use the computer most of the day or I'm out. I don't even have money to go out yet I'm still surviving and I have my many awesome friends to thank and yus, I must pay you guys back when I can! -Sigh- I need a job so bad. I doubt my friends mum is going to call me when she needs people to work. I know you guys are probably thinking "stop lazing around, get out and find a job or go back to studying!" but yeah.. it's not as easy as you think it is! Since we are going through a recession, applying anywhere seems to be useless anyway and it's past mid year for TAFE so my only chance is applying now to study next year! I don't even know what I want to do in the future. At the moment, I'm just a freaking bum. Heh!

Friends - I'm becoming so lost with my friends. Sometimes I don't even think they see me as a friend or I feel left out and all. What has annoyed me the most is the fact that I've become so dependent on my best friend, who now has a boyfriend - feels like I've been forgotten at times. We used to hang out a lot but it's all changed now. Even other friends, feels like they've drifted. I feel as if the only friend I have now is myself.. Although Maverick is always there for me 24/7 and he is my best friend as well :)
It's funny how close you are to someone one minute and the next it's all faded. Just like a minutes been wasted. You spent so much time building your trust with someone only to let it slip away. Ehhh~

Family - I'm not so close. I don't talk to my family much and I rather not. I kind of feel left out at home as well, like when my mum said I was adopted, maybe I was? Lol. Oh, then again, I was the accident in the family. Shocking, I know right? I was pretty damn upset when I found out. I just felt like running away again and not come back.. But I'd never. I love my family a lot, it may not seem like it because I never show my emotions to them but deep down I really love them. Why's it so hard for me to show? I showed only once and that was probably last week when my mum broke down and cried, I was there to comfort her. It felt nice. Why can't I do that everyday? Puck you life, Puck you Wendy.

Love - HAHA. Oh, Love. LOVE LOVE FUCKING LOVE. I have to admit, I'm loving the current crush right now. And I wasn't being sarcastic! What I mean is, I like him to this point.. I don't know. It's hard to explain but I love this feeling. Lol.
It goes: Girl loves boy but boy doesn't love girl. Simple. But I can't get that to my head. There's something there, I can sense it. Usually when a guy doesn't like me back, I'd be like "fuck you, I hate that I love you" and go all emo bullshit. But I think there's something about this guy that just keeps pulling me back? It's become a habit, talking to him at night - I can't stand not talking to him! I think I'd go crazy, insane.. MENTAL? Haha. Call it an obsession, I think I'm in deep like! :) I don't like to use the word LOVE! Hmmm yeah. He makes me smile even though he doesn't say anything special. Even in my crappiest days, anything he says! Even if it's stupid, he still manages to make me smile. Never once have I really cried over him.. Well, I kinda dropped two tears but how often does that happen? I usually cry a freaking river after rejection but ahhhhhhh~~~~ I think this one is for keeps. I just hope he doesn't make me wait tooooooo long =/

LoL! . . I miss you :D


( You try, you fail. You try, you fail again. But the real failures are the ones that never try or give up too easily - taxed off Cindy!)

Zuhmygod. I wrote that last night, how retarded, lmfao!

her looks are deceiving, shes a total bitch.

Well, I was going to write up a short story - based upon my friendship with a certain person but I'm so shit at writing, I deleted it all.

All I can say is: "Ewww, that's fucking ugly."
and "Hah! Bitch, I'm so much better than you, truth hurts doesn't it?"

Um, yeah, real mature. I know right? Well, okay, I'll tell you a bit of the story, to the point:

I used to hate this chick back in high school but around last year we became really close and I put my trust in her and I saw her as a sister. I introduced her to the guy I like and she talked to him and hooked up with him. What the fuck? Yeah, laters to friendship - also because I talked shit to people about her but hey! it's not 'shit' if it's true, right?

Well there's more to it but that's all I'm going to say about her.

---

My aunt bought Jackfruit Blended Ice from Healthy Cup, yummo.

Oh yeahhhhhhhhh, I'm feeling kind of happy today for no reason. Or maybe I'm high on Jackfruit? Lol, no.

You know what? Usually I'd be depressed because that certain person doesn't like me back but I'm handling it pretty well this time. I still talk to him like normal and yeah, he still manages to make me smile even though he doesn't say anything special. I must be some retard hahahhaha. Awww, I miss him.

Has anyone heard Lil Louis - French Kiss? .. That's one freakin' hot song, the beginning is boring but from middle to end is all worth it, you horny little boys will like it, Lol.

& I don't know Dictashion but thanks for commenting! If you're reading this I can't comment on your blog but I think your name is Natasha Lay. I shall Facebook stalk you hunneh ;)

i'm lost without you...

The one person I used to turn to when I was down, the one person who lent me her shoulder to cry on. The one I always bitched to, the one I could depend on to be there when I needed someone the most.

My best friend - I met her in 2005 at Vietnamese school and we didn't think much of each other (I thought she was weird. She thought I was a bitch). Weeks later, we started talking and since then, we were the best of friends, we were inseparable.

But as time passes, things sort of change. For her, she now has a boyfriend and it's hard for her to keep up with me and I understand that. It's just that sometimes, I feel as if I've been left out so much and no longer a part of her life. I feel so distant from her now... We don't hang out as much, she still tries to be there for me, even without the best advice, she puts in effort to talk to me about my life, like a best friend should. I don't know, it just doesn't feel right anymore.

I get so angry sometimes. Right now, I just feel like crying.. I talked to her just before about some stupid things, almost had it turned into an argument but I tried not to. It's stupid, it bugs me. I felt as if she used the words "best friend" against me. Because we're meant to trust and understand eachother. I told her to think again what "best friends" meant and I broke down.

That feeling of being a best friend... it's just not there anymore. I don't feel it. The best friend I see in her eyes, is her boyfriend.

This is more painful than rejection.. lol. I have something worth crying over...