i'm lost without you...

The one person I used to turn to when I was down, the one person who lent me her shoulder to cry on. The one I always bitched to, the one I could depend on to be there when I needed someone the most.

My best friend - I met her in 2005 at Vietnamese school and we didn't think much of each other (I thought she was weird. She thought I was a bitch). Weeks later, we started talking and since then, we were the best of friends, we were inseparable.

But as time passes, things sort of change. For her, she now has a boyfriend and it's hard for her to keep up with me and I understand that. It's just that sometimes, I feel as if I've been left out so much and no longer a part of her life. I feel so distant from her now... We don't hang out as much, she still tries to be there for me, even without the best advice, she puts in effort to talk to me about my life, like a best friend should. I don't know, it just doesn't feel right anymore.

I get so angry sometimes. Right now, I just feel like crying.. I talked to her just before about some stupid things, almost had it turned into an argument but I tried not to. It's stupid, it bugs me. I felt as if she used the words "best friend" against me. Because we're meant to trust and understand eachother. I told her to think again what "best friends" meant and I broke down.

That feeling of being a best friend... it's just not there anymore. I don't feel it. The best friend I see in her eyes, is her boyfriend.

This is more painful than rejection.. lol. I have something worth crying over...