Hello, hello.

Soooooo.. I've returned to Blogspot since Tumblr is a tad gay. I'm so sorry for disowning you for three months Blogspot!

Anyway, just a quick update. It feels so good to be back and to blog once again :) I can once again talk my shit on here for people to read :P

I'm probably going to make another Blogspot also, for my own, for no one else to read (yeah, Sandy, I know this is what you wanted to do but it does sound like a good idea and at least I can admit I'm going to copy you unlike someone else)

New Years is this Saturday and so is my 5month anniversary with the amazing boyfriend, Phi. Hopefully the weather won't be shit like it has been this whole week :( flooding everywhere, unfortunately, floods wont surround the area where I work. I wish I worked at WOW or Harvey Norman in Oxley, the place is flooded and no one can get to those stores but noooooooooooooooo, I have to work on a high rise >_>

I'm probably going to head off to chuck a shit then go to bed now, work at 6am :( OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO totes forgot it's Wednesday tomorrow so I'm going to get a stack of magazines, or hopefully not. Hopefully those companies are still on Christmas holidays ><

GOodnight all xo

sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I know, I said I was moving to Tumblr. but it's being a bitch... well, my internet is being a bitch, it's so fucking slow and I don't know what the problem is.

Anyway, sick as a daaaaaaaaaaawg. My nose is fucked - the blockage is pissing me off. I hate having a blocked nose -.-" and to top it off, a sore throat :D gargling salt water, here I come -.-"

So, Riverfire is on tonight and yayyyyyyy, going to spend more time with the bf :) because weekends is the only time I really get to see him now since he works and all. FINALLY WORKING :D lol.

Father's day tomorrow, looks like I don't need to buy anything because my stepdad has also left? Yeah, got home at 11pmish last night and his car wasn't home - which meant, he probably slept in the car at Inala bus stop again. Sigh. So saddening. I mean, I can cope without a Dad now, I'm old enough to take responsibility of things etc and I understand the situation - it's happened once before but I do feel so sorry for my younger brother and sisters. My sisters are only 2/3 and they don't understand anything, I hate to see them growing up without a dad also. . .

Merr, life sucks balls sometimes but what can I do about it -.-"

sick and tired of being sick and tired.

earthquakes can shake us, cyclones can break us.

Speechless.

I honestly don't know what to say right now.

I shouldn't be mad... ? I'm not mad, I'm just really disappointed.

I was so proud and happy.

Blah.

Last ever post on BS ~ officially moving to Tumblr as of now.

it was only just a dreeeam.

Filling in the archive for August.

~ not much to share. I'm thinking of moving to Tumblr.

negative things.

I believe in positive affirmation, as what my ex-manager taught me, teaching yourself to be positive, will keep you positive. Even when a lemon is thrown at you, no matter how big or small it is, positive affirmation would keep you going, although holding back that negativity, you're still able to put it behind you with a smile on your face.

It might not make any sense to you at all because you don't see this from my perspective but there has been a few problems I've been facing lately, whether it be family, work, relationships... but I've learnt to put that behind me when something happens and just move on with life. Yes, it means bottling things up and possibly thinking longer and harder into it when I zone out but if there is one thing life has taught me, it's to move on.

I do linger on in negative thoughts, like right now, I feel so wrong, I feel like I'm about to explode and breakdown.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Anyway, my negative thoughts are mainly based on what my friends are to me. Surely, not a good thing to think negative about your friends but sometimes - and I know I'm not alone on this one - some friends just come and go, even the ones you've thought would stick with you forever.

It's where you're wrong.

I've had a friend who I've called my "best friend" for about five years now and we were pretty much inseparable but I guess things change when time flies and we grow older. I feel like I've done a lot for her, been there, listened, helped, things a good friend would do. I've spoilt her also but I feel as if I got nothing in return. I admit, she has done a lot of good deeds for me as well but it doesn't feel like enough. Right now, I feel like I'm nothing to her.

I tell her something about my life, I barely even get an answer. I tell her something I did today, she interrupts and talks about something else.

Like she's not even listening, not even caring about what I have to say. I do it back to her. Though, it's not like she cares because I'm sure she has her other friends to brag to. Even if they're the so called "friends" she twofaces. -Massive sigh-

Sat down and had some lunch with an old girlfriend the other day... we had a good talk, a few laughs then this so called "best friend" and other friends come in, says hi, leaves their bags at our table then sits at a different table. We're totally your "bag look afterers". No. Thanks for leaving US out. Maybe because we're different age groups but that shouldn't affect anything. You say age doesn't matter, why does it feel like it matters now?

IF you're reading this, I'm not bitching. I just want you to understand how I feel. The other girlfriend sees how you've changed towards me now. It's really sad.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

imma chase that feeling ...

So, we're past the halfway mark. July 2010! This year has gone so fast! So much for enrolling to TAFE and whatnot. I really can't be screwed studying.

I love work. Minus the pedo, creepy boss. Yes, I know I rant about the fuckface all the time. He gets better, only when I'm flirtier :P LOL joke.

My hands are freezing to the point I can't even press the letters on my iPhone keyboard :( Makes it so hard to reply to messages. Which reminds me, I was reading the newspaper on Thursday? I have phone texting disorders :( I don't know why they make a big deal of it though, I'm sure there are habits that are way worse that text disorders.

Textaphrenia: Hearing texts come on or feeling your mobile device vibrate when it has not. Constantly checking your mobile to see if a message has arrived.

Textiety: The anxiety teens feel when they have not received a text or are unable to send texts. They feel like they have no friends and also over-analysing the reasons why people have not replied immediately.

Post-Traumatic Text Disorder: Physical and mental injuries sustained while texting, such as walking into poles and people, plus feelings of depression when no one contacts them.

Binge Texting: When the users send lots of individual texts or group texts to engage as many responses as possible so they can still feel like a part of the group.

Oh, yeah. I can totally relate to all of these :/

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Still haven't picked up my tickets for Winterbeatz. Told Maverick I would on Friday but I got caught up with other things then couldn't be bothered going City.

Well, hands are freezing, the heater is on in the lounge so I'm gonna leave it here, have a cuppa and probably sleep.

/end awesome weekend. WOOT, chilllllllllaxxxxxxx.

i'll rise just to fall again.

Finally pulled myself up from the ground only to find another and fall again.

Argh. I'm not angry enough to vent everything. I don't even have a reason to be angry, fucking stupid mood swings.
It's so fucking cold and my hands are retarded - my right hand is probably ice cold compared to the left which is like, no where near as cold as the right. Bleh.

Fack yea, went to KlubKandy last night and it was rockkkkkkin'. Had a freakin' awesome night with the awesome friends and lovverr loveeeeerr heheheh. Shamejob. Controlled my drinking this time, kept telling myself I had work and it was a MUST to go this time and woo, I'm a champ. I survived work, almost fell asleep though.

I should be sleeping now, only had about less than 2 hours last night. Got loads of magazines to invoice and label tomorrow... YAY *sarcasm sign.

Need to pick up my tickets for Winterbeatz soon.

Quick Post.

Just posting an entry so I don't skip a month on my archive.

I have a headache right now and am busy watching "You're Beautiful" so I really can't be screwed trying to think of something to write.
Anyway, the most I've been up to is .. Sunnybank, City, Work, Clubbing, Practically .. same shit different day.

Still missing Jeff but .. looks like I'm moving on soon because it's not progressing.

That is all for now.

Stolen off sandy which was stolen off Shubba.

What does your last sent text say?

"Are you doing anything later?"

If you had the chance to just knock someone out right now, would you?

Nay, can't be fucked.

Are you in a good mood?

Not really, watching a Korean Drama and thinking of him = depressing..

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Yepppp.

Where will you be in 2 hours ?

Either eating dinner or still sitting my arse here watching Kdrama.

Who’s bedroom were you last in?

If not my own, then possibly another room in my house.

Hows your heart lately?

I don't have a heart, he took it... (how corny)

Something you can’t wait for?

See him again. Going to Melbourne.

Where have you been most of today?

At home..

Where’s your mum?

In the kitchen cooking and yelling at my baby sisters.

Are you a happy person?

Yup :)

Who was the last person to be in your bed with you?

I don't know... it's been too long.

When is the last time you saw number 1 on your top friends?

This isn't Bebo.

Does someone like you right now?

Boy-wise, no. Friends? I guess so :)

Have you ever had a pet fish?

Yes, brother decided to overfeed it and he killed it.

What are your plans for tonight?

Finish these questions, watch more drama, sleep early.

You’ve had sex with over 112 people, haven’t you?

Damn, I never knew I could get that many.

Your ex calls wanting to hang out. What do you say?

Depends which ex.

What’s the relationship between the last person you texted and you?

"Brother"

What do you think of when you see a dollar sign?

Money.

Was your last kiss, standing up, sitting down, or laying down?

A kiss... on the cheek? Standing.

Is there someone you wanna date?

Yeahh, but I don't think he's boyfriend material.

What are you listening to?

The clicky sound of the keyboard while I type and my mum yelling.

Last missed call?

Private number? .. besides that, Angie's boyfriend.

What was the first thing you did when you woke up today?

Facebook while in bed.

What are you planning on doing tomorrow?

Working.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with a T?

Lollll, yes.

How is the weather right now?

Chilly.

Are you going anywhere for the next summer?

Maybe Melbourne, if I feel like it.

Has anyone ever tried to ruin a relationship you were in?

Not purposely...

Are you going to sleep in tomorrow?

I wish I could.

Is there a specific reason you’re not dating the last person you texted?

He's like my brother and I would never date him. Heheh.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with a K, J, or L?

Yes, on Friday :D on the cheek :(

What is on your wrists right now?

Gold bracelet from granny and Magic City stamp which has still not come off.

Do you like to cuddle?

Yes I do.

Could you go the rest of your life without a cigarette?

Yep.

Are you happy with the way things are going?

Sort of. But it's life, just got to get over it.

Who called you last night?

Jimmy Nguyen.

Is anything bothering you?

Jeffrey Ho :(

Who was the first person you talked to yesterday?

My stepdad when he took me to work.

Why aren’t you with the person you like?

I would be, if someone could take me to Sunnybank! But I still wouldn't exactly be "with" him.

When did you laugh last?

Today, with Je..bbie..ber.

Your ex calls you on the phone, what is your reaction?

Meh..

What is the last thing you ate?

Com Ga Chien Don

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

Nay, and I don't think I want to remember.

Can you speak any other language than English?

Vietnamese.

Last movie you saw in theaters?

Alice In Wonderland.

Was it a boy or girl to call you last?

Girl.

What color are your eyes?

Dark brown.

Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

Yes :)

Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

Yes.

Plans for the weekend?

Not much of a weekend left now.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

Jebbie.

If you took a drug test right now, would you pass?

Pass as negative? No.

Has one of your boyfriends/girlfriends best friends ever tried to get with you?

I don't think so?

Have you told anyone that you missed them?

I want to.

What’s your favorite colour gummy bear?

Blue.

What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex’s body?

Smile!

Have you ever made up/sang a song for someone you cared about?

Yep.

Ever had a song sang about/for you?

I don't knowwwww.

Is there a baby in the room with you right now?

Nay.

Do you know how to dance?

Real badly.

Where do you sing the most, in the car, the shower or other?

At karaoke :P

What is your favourite thing that is green?

$100 note!

What did your last text message say?

No money.

Boxers, briefs or boxer briefs?

I wear briefs :P

What is your middle name?

Le.

What is the way to your heart?

Hmm, I fall easily so pretty much, sweet talk.

What do you smell like?

Washing liquid?

What’s in your pocket?

Nothing.

Anything in your mouth?

My teeth and tongue?

Ever hurt yourself playing Wii?

Nope.

Do you have freckles?

Yes, very little.

How many languages can you say “Hello” in?

7

Ever jumped/fallen/been pushed in a pool with your clothes on?

Nope.

Are you wearing any clothes that you wore yesterday?

Yeah, my tights.

Name a song that you know all the words to:

Tik Tok - Kesha. (Wake up in the morning feeling like Phi Diddy :P)

Are you in love with someone right now?

I very muchly think so...

What’s the last thing you watched on TV?

Umm, I don't remember.

What’s the last video game you played?

PhotoHunt.

Can you do the alphabet in sign language?

Nay.

Do you have an uncle named Joe?

Nay.

What word do you use when people pass gas?

Did you fart?

Do you wear glasses ?

Nay.

What can you hear right now?

Typing noises, Mum and Tv.

Did you feel better or worse or the same yesterday?

Worse..

Ever been overseas?

Yep, Vietnam!

What are your plans for today?

Korean Dramas!

Do you bite your nails?

Sometimes.

Do you like your feet?

I don't like feet. Especially toes.

Do you sleep well at night?

Sometimes.

Who was the last person to call you babe?

IRL, Jeffrey Ho. Through context, Christine.

When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?

Yep.

If you had to kiss the last person you kissed, would you?

Fuck yes. lol.

Has someone ever sang a song to you?

Yep.

Have you danced in the rain?

Yep.

Have you ever been to the emergency room?

Uhh, no.

Do you like hot or cold weather more?

COLD!

Do you have a secret crush?

It's no secret.

Would you get plastic surgery?

No way.

Has a rumor been spread about you?

Yeah -.-'

Have you written a secret admirer letter?

No, but I've written to a lover.

Would you rather give or recieve?

LOL. Receive.

Do you prefer to sleep or eat?

Sleep.

Were you a planned pregnancy for your parents?

Nope.

Is your tongue pierced?

Nay, considering it.

What is your favorite sushi?

Soft shell crab!

Do you like funny or serious people better?

Funny when it's a joke, serious when we need to be.

What do you and your parents fight about the most?

Me never being at home.

Are you a gullible person?

Sometimes.

Are you a generally happy person?

Yeaaaaaaap.

Last thing that really hurt you?

Errr... HT.

Are you ever afraid to be yourself?

Nay, I'm more afraid of being someone else then having my cover blown.

Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

Nay.

How many people have told you they were in love with you?

I've lost count ;P joke. I don't know wtf LOVE is.

Is any part of you sad at all?

Yeahhhhh.

Would you kiss anyone you have texts from in your phone?

YEAAAAAS :3

Honestly, if you could go back one month and change something would you?

Yeah, I guess so.

Have you ever cried in front of your number one?

My number one? .. I don't have a number one.

Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2008?

Maybe with a few changes.

Has anyone told you they missed you lately?

:(

Are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you?

Yeap.

Is love really worth fighting for?\

Ahuh :)

Your phone is ringing. It’s your most recent ex. What do you say?

WADDDDDUPP?!

Do you have a bad temper?

Sometimes.

Do you believe that there’s good in everybody?

Yeap, but they don't seek hard enough to find it.

What are you drinking right now?

Saliva.

Are you the funniest of all your friends?

Nay.

Have you ever gone to work with a hangover?

I ... didn't turn up. Hehe.

What pisses you off the most?

Stupid people and doggers.

Who was the last friend to walk out of your life?

Meh.

How do you get when you’re really mad?

I could start crying and start blaming myself.

What’s something you wish you could go shopping for right now?

Clothes.

Something you want right now?

Jeffrey Ho.

Do you ever get shy around the boy/girl you like?

Sometimes.

Do you want to see someone this very minute?

Yes.

Do you like someone?

Jeffrey Ho.

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Sigh, I hope so.

Are you happy with the way things are going?

I guess so.

Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

My brother? Very much, indeed. Jk.

J-Ho . You are my destiny ~

"You've been looking for him for too long and you found him, don't let it go." - Teresa Love

Yes, I found Jeffy, finally. On Thursday when I was at Market Square with Dimmy and Phi :) It's funny how one day you're fully searching for something but don't find it and the next day you do the same but you kind of forget in between.
I almost forgot why I was at Market Square on Thursday night until Dimmy reminded me when he saw Jeff :) *happy* Dimmy got me Jeff's number but it was the same as the one Phi had already given me and I thought it was disconnected. Turns out, Jeff's phone was just dead but he charged it and called me at 12am that night. Conversed for about 30-40 minutes then I had to sleep for work. Although he asked me to go out with him the next day - to Reiji's.

I had one hell of a good night with Jeff, Kenji and Jimmy <3

I can't really be fucked going into full detail about the weekend. It's too good to share :P LOL jk

Hmm :) Such a reeeeeeetard kid .. lol

endless game of hide&seek.

I can wait. I can wait to find you. Every day now, it feels like there's something more to look forward to. Even though I know, I won't see you if I keep searching.

I feel so close to you, yet so far away.

Sadly, I doubt you feel the same. You're a bit too... forgetful :P I don't really know, I'm just assuming you are because of your bad habits.

I miss you. I want to find you but I feel as if, when I do, the game will end. It won't be as fun anymore.

- - - - - -

Anyway. . .

Work was boring, again, like always, same shit, different day.
I had an argument with a Vietnamese guy though. One of our regulars. I was actually joking around with him but it got serious after a while. Story goes:

I was talking to my manager, Tamara, when I heard someone splutter "Aherm" It was this Vietnamese dude that calls me Em/Baby (seriously) So I walked over and I said "You know, next time you should say excuse me instead of going *Aherm*" He said he did it because he's Vietnamese. We got into this joking argument while I was processing his lotto and when I was done, I told him the price he owes in English and he said "You're Vietnamese you know, you should speak your language." I replied "We're in Australia so I don't have to."
Jokes turned into not-so-serious argument until Tamara yelled out "THEN GO HOME!"
I'm standing in between the two which were arguing. I could only hear Tamara's words over the Viet guy's "IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT HERE THEN GO HOME TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM"
The guy tells Tamara to take it to the carpark (LOL) and then he walked out saying "FUCK YOU"

Was some funny shit. Then it got shit boring, did my stupid magazine returns then shopped for random craft shit. Planning to make a photo frame but my mind isn't so imaginative. This is what it looks like so far:

Planning to paint the frame of it black and the top peg gold :)
It feels like I'm back in school and doing a project for woodworks class! Well, I'll post the finished frame on when it's done.

Got a headache now, might as well go to sleep.

Jho.

your smile, it huuuurrrttts me.

The weekend starts off SHIT.
Yup, fully got ready to go out last night for Jennifer Tsai's birthday at Babyface. Before I left the house, I remembered I didn't have my ID on me so I went back to my room to fetch it but I couldn't find it anywhere. The usual place I leave it is in my bag but I checked in there at least five times (my bag has no secret pockets either) and checked high and low, from my bed, my desk, floor, from the window to the wall. Wasn't anywhere to be found.
Headed out to the City without it, planning to NOT go Babyface. I couldn't anyway because I had no form of ID at all. A lot of people were going out last night and I became eager to go as well, I made my friend drive me home so I could search for it again, no luck. Wasted his time, got him into trouble. Ended up staying home, online, doing jack shit.


Actually, I went onto Deviant Art to look for some Silhouette Tree photos, the peach blossom ones but they didn't have the ones I wanted. Managed to find ONE nice one.

I plan to draw this on my bedroom wall, then paint it myself. Hopefully, it turns out good.

Don't think I'm going out today. No clubs are open, I don't think. Because of ANZAC day tomorrow. Neeko's and Mylinhs party is on, don't feel like going. Don't feel like seeing certain people.




Still missing Huy.

Your soul is beautiful .. ..

Okayyyyyy, I'm so freakin' emo right now. No, it's not to do with guy problems or family and that shit. It's because I went on Ebay to look for this camera: Sanyo Xacti C1. A camera my aunt gave me for my birthday in 2007... which I brought to Schoolies - it got went by the huge wave on the last day and damaged my camera. Pretty sad really.. I couldn't upload the photos after that, not even when I stuck it into a different camera or shoved the SD card into my computer. I had so many awesome photos in there too.

Those memories I shared with Seniors of '07. You know, Alice Nguyen, Natalie Dillon, Emily Chen, Jenny Truong, Heung Jon-Soon, Hung To, Bruce Le, Eddie Chung, Ardi Muchtar, Timmeh Timmeh (Lol, forgot your last name) Oh, plenty more people but I just can't remember. They were the good times though and was the best memory I had for 2007... washed away. Damn.

I'm still so cut up about it and trying to find the same camera.. Apparently they've discontinued the stock though because this one is pretty shit. It's only 3.2mp but I still love it.. It had awesome movie effects too

Anyway my feet smell and I'm really itchy :/ lol
I accidentally deleted the rest of this post, don't remember what I said and now I can't be screwed thinking of something cool..

rare breed of dog .........

Just a little article I stole out of Nhi's MX.

TRUE FRIENDS A RARE BREED

Most people only have three true friends, if Britain is any guide.

While most adults have up to 22 "mates", most feel they can only truly rely on three of them, research found.
And for three-quarters of us, one of our close friends is a family member.
The survey of 3000 people also found that we have lost touch with an average 24 friends over the years after simply "drifting apart".
Shefali Mattani, a spokeswoman for Nivea, which conducted the research, said: "Most of those polled seemed to have one solid best friend who they have grown up with, one family member and another friend they have either met at university or work."
She said a vast majority of friendships weakened as life got in the way.
"We move from job to job and away from our grass roots and it gets harder to maintain good relationships," she said.
"It is only the really strong friendships which continue despite life's interruptions, and of course family members are often the most reliable and trustworthy people to turn to."
The poll shows just under half of the people surveyed had lost touch with good friends after moving away from a particular area or job, while 29 per cent blamed lack of contact on being busy.
Seven in 10 people said their busy lifestyle meant they were seeing their true friends less.
Although 67 per cent still regularly saw their good friends face to face, two-thirds relied on contact by mobile phone, and 37 per cent by email.
Almost half of the people surveyed - 43 per cent - find themselves opening up to work colleagues to compensate for the fact they are not seeing their friends as much as they'd like.

sometimes, things are easier said than done...

I don't care how long it takes,

I don't mind, I'll sit and wait.

Until the sun goes down,

and comes back up again.

Cos you're the best thing in my life,

without you, it just ain't right.

So, take as long as you like.


I w i l l s t i l l b e w a i t i n g . . .

this strange love caught me by surprise . . .

Wishing this was a photo of us . . . lol, I'll keep dreaming.

I miss you, HT.

Gold Coast was fail. I wish I stayed back in Brisbane with the Family...
Will be making up for it by going out this weekend with Kim Ong, I think. I hope so.

I don't know what I did to you.

Slowly losing hope......... again.

On a positive note: heading down to the coast today for Ching's birthday. Finally finished her video also, rushed job but it's still pretty good. Completed the video at around 2am, konked out soon after. It was such a mission saving all her photos and trying to put it all together.

Oh, will miss the family tonight. They're going to Mystique while I'll be partying it down at the coast. Hopefully we'll all have fun even though we're far apart. Sounds like I'm leaving forever or something? lol. But seriously, Ohana means family, family means no one gets left behind.

Jun is a dog but I ain't going to hate for that shit.

Must give a huge thank you once again to the family for always making my days more happy, positive and all good words you could think of. Love you guys so much :)

and... I miss Huy Tran.

Since he already knows and I'm pretty sure he hears it all the time, I don't see the point in hiding that from him or anyone, anymore.

Just hope I don't do anything silly tonight. It's funny how I like him so much, if I interact intimately with any other guy it feels like I'm cheating.

Anyway. . . Oh, yeah. Before I forget, I'm making friends with the haters. When I say that I mean, I'm trying to say sorry to those who I've hurt and befriended back in the past. I don't want to be that person anymore, that person that once looked at someone and judged them before I even knew them. I just want to be that girl, everyone points at and says "That chick is awesome, she's really nice" etc :) hahaha. That sounds so gay but I'm trying bitches :P

I'm cool with Truc now. If there's a problem, you can solve it because I won't get caught between anyone's shit anymore.

Dee's words of Wisdom

W: i dont see the point in finding someone
whenever i find someone its not like they like me anyway

D: why is that you're a great person

W: lol a great person personality wise
but i dont seem to have much of a future

D: explain

W: no one really likes failures

D: explain to me how you are a failure, wendy

W: i never finished school
i know i hav a job
but itsnot a good job
its shit pay
its not gonna get me anywhere

D: errr

W: im 20, i dont even have my drivers license

D: dude, it doesn't matter about you... it's the guy who has to secure the future

W: siighhh
its just how i feel, and im constantly getting let down by my mum also
you dont know
how upset i was
when she got angry at me the day after i got my lip piercing
she hates facial piercings

D: oh i remember that fiasco...

W: yeah
that hurt me so bad
everytime something like that happens, my self esteem drops
ever since i've been going out clubbing and all with my friends, its made me feel better
but at the same time, it makes me look bad
there's always a downside to something
im seriously trying to change
im about to enrol for tafe
i m trying to get my life back on trck
but .. the only person who seems to see that is me

D: :\
well
if you ask me.. you're coming along well
you know at least you're making an effort to get into tafe n shit
you have a JOB
you don't realise how much i've been trying to get one
plus you have friends that love n support you
you don't need nothing else
well i mean
not at the start
you know, it'll all fall into place sooner or later
i mean, prove your mother wrong
prove to her that you are capable of much more than just at home and working and clubbing
you're already making an effort
watch when the day the letter comes in saying you've been accepted to do this that n third
your mum will, most likely, congratulate you
because she is your mother, n she loves you
and with guys
so what he doesn't like you
HIS LOSS, because you would be, in my opinion, a great gf to have
i mean like, so what you don't have a future AT THIS POINT IN TIME
you're still a great person

W: thanks dee

D: doesn't matter what you got, it's what you are
is what i'm trying to say
and i know you can prove everyone wrong by accomplishing your set goals
it takes work, but as with everything in life.
so chin up, be proud n put in the hard yards, dude.
have some fun along the way as well
don't let everything break your stride cus you're a strong person

dancing this dance alone.

Let the... depression kick in.

I got wayy too drunk last night, way off my head for the first time since NYE 2008 at Charlie's. It felt quite good except for the parts where I vomitted. I still remember a lot of the night, parts I want to remember, parts I don't want to remember. The best of it would have been when HE was looking after me and I was hugging him.. awwwwww. Too bad it was a drunken thing and won't really ever happen in my soberness.

Well, I really appreciate those people who stuck by to look after me - Matt, Huy and Quan. Love you guys for it :) But am sorry at the same time for ruin what would have been an awesome night for you guys.

Welpppps, so drunk. HE kept walking away from me when I was trying to hold onto him. I am reallyyy sick of it, I try and fail. This was however, the worst way to do it. Being drunk around him and I'm pretty sure he was quite mad at me for it, so blunt to me this morning, it really hurt.

Blah, I don't know. I am about to let go but when I do, I really hope you don't come to me then, I don't think I'll take you :/ It's hurting me, it hurts so much, my heart feels torn. I can't breathe, arrgh. Why do you have to do this?

It's driving me insane. Your smile, just looking at you, it kills me.

I miss you too much..............

You've got me going crazy.

No venting today, I'm in a super fantastic mood. I feel positive, alive, happy and all the upsy daisy words you'd think of.

Why? You :)

The long weekend is onnnnnn and so far, I've attended Ching's and Maverick's birthday celebrations at the club. That's two events down; two left to go - TNT and Klub Kandy. Although I'm not too sure about Klub Kandy because I have work at 6am the next day and the earliest bus back to Inala is... 8am?

CHINGS

MAVERICKS

Say goodbye as we dance with the devil tonight. . .

Normally, I'd give up as soon as I hear "I don't like you that way, you're just a friend." But this time, I really don't want to let this go. I feel so positive about this, that if I keep trying then something might happen.

Or am I just getting my hopes up again? ...

I'm really missing him right now and the way I can be any closer to him is through his brother. I wish it were that easy to just converse normally with someone you like with them knowing you like them. Hmm.

I'll stay positive on this one. I think something will work out, or so I'm hoping.

Give me a sign.

Haychu Wai.

you're the butterflies i feel in my belly..

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. No point in the emo bullshit. My heart is still tugging hardouttttttttt like it hurts but it feels good and I'm happy? Just a tad weird.

Anyway, HUUUUUUUUUUUGE weekend coming up and I cannot wait! Ching, Michael, Maverick and Nestor's birthdayyyyy! Woop! So we're celebrating it in the valley with friends. Hoping HE'll be there :) Miss him so.

It's funny, everytime I think of him, it gives me butterflies. Thinking of his smile, things he said, and just remember holding me and spinning me in a circle. I almost went flying ><' I forgot why he did that, actually, I don't even remember now if it was him or someone else cos I was pretty goooooooooooooone.

Photos to show. Love minus one. I miss Weewee.

Matt, Jun, Quan, Huy

Nhiiiiiiiiiiiiiii and meeeee

All the crazy shit I did last night.

Sigh. I got less than two hours sleep after Reiji's then headed out to the city to meet Tammie. It was sooooo boring, there was nothing to do. She was waiting for Hang and they went shopping so I went over to G-Castle with Quan. I saw this faggot I didn't want to see and just fully tried to avoid him although he did see me. He scares me. So, I was just sitting in G-Castle watching the guys play some boring games, damn, I wanted to play Audition so badly but I didn't feel like paying just to use the computer. Anyway, loverboy came in a bit later, unexpected and awkward. Missed him. Arrghh, cannot get over it hmm. He has the cutest smile ever, it just brightens my day thinking about it, although at times it hurts because I think I know, we won't ever be more than what we are now.

Okay, shut up.

Went to the Bottle'O with Quan to get a bottle of wine for myself, hung around for a bit longer then Andy picked me up to go Tuans. I don't know if it was a good party or not because I was never really getting around talking to whoever was there, instead, I caught up with my girlies, Sandy, Mai, Kylie and Mel :) Love them. Oh and I can't forget my girl, Mattayo.
I finished the wine bottle alone, sort of. Mattayo had a bit as well but OHMY it was so yummo. I was so tipsy after I drunk texted/called friends. Mmmyeah, had a few drags then went Mystique. Was pretty gooooooooooooood, and maybe even better if he was there.. to dance with moi, lol.

PS I HATE YOU STUPID ATTENTION SEEKING DRAMATIC FAGGOT.

-------------------------

Quan: We're almost on the same boat. I guess the best thing to do is move on. No point chasing a person who only sees me as a ghost...

Wendy: Don't think of it that way. Think of it as, they're too blind to see how much of a good person you are :)

Quan Tran, I'll always be there for you. Tranfamily :)

“If you have tears, prepare to shed them now.”

LOL @ LAST BLOG POST.

Do you remember when you were young? How stupid and careless you were about everything? Mainly when it came to LOVE? ..

It's so different now. I'm old. I don't feel like taking those same risks like I did back then. I'm just too scared to get hurt now because it's happened too many times.

So, I kind of took that risk last night when I went clubbing although it really failed at exactly 3:10am. Yes, that's when the badddddd news broke out. I saw the news coming. I was so ready for it, another "You're a nice person but I just don't see you that way. I do like you, but as a friend, not anymore than that." WHY IS IT THAT SAME FUCKING LINE?! Yep, I'm used to this but I broke down like shit last night as I was about to leave. Merely even got any sleep last night because this is all the shit I can think about right now. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck my life.

Not the greatest thing to go emo over. For some reason this hurts just as bad as two and a half years ago when my ex broke up with me.

Okay, whatever. No more, whatever happens, happens.

BATMAN. NA-NANANANA-NA BATMAN.

then fall apart, in parts.

Do you remember when you were young? How stupid and careless you were about everything? Mainly when it came to LOVE? ..

It's so different now. I'm old. I don't feel like taking those same risks like I did back then. I'm just too scared to get hurt now because it's happened too many times.

untouchable ..

-------------------------------------------------------

Please come back to me
Please come back to me
Please come back to me Girl~

Please come back to me
Please come back to me
Please come back to me Girl

난 너 때문에 숨쉬고 난 너 때문에 웃는 사람

Please come back to me
Please come back to me
Please come back to me Girl~

I can’t Breath I can’t smile everyday so because of you
I can’t sleep I can’t live every time so because of you

아직 너를 향한 내 맘은 숨이 가빠지게 뜨거워
허나 나를 향한 네 맘은 숨이 멎어지게 차가워
난 너의 사랑에 메말라
건조해져 버린 내 맘에 유일한 수분은 눈물 지쳐가며 흘리죠
햇살 같은 미소에 벗어나기 힘들고
이별은 예고 없이 아픔을 퍼부은 소나기
아직 뜨거운 내 가슴엔 넌 살아 숨 쉬고 있어
널 향해 내 심장은 밤새도록 계속 뛰고 있어

그대 때문에 숨을 쉴 수 있어요
그대 때문에 웃을 수가 있어요
참 이상하게 웃어도 눈물이 흘러요(바보처럼)

그대는 아직 내 가슴에 살아요
그대 가슴엔 내가있나요?
나 사는 동안 (숨쉬는 동안) 나 그대를 잊지 못해요…

난 너 때문에 숨쉬고 난 너 때문에 웃는 사람
난 너 때문에 아프고 난 너 때문에 우는 사람

I can’t Breath I can’t smile everyday so because of you
I can’t sleep I can’t live every time so because of you

차가운 겨울바람처럼 시리고 아픈 이별들은
돌고 도는 계절처럼 또 다시 내게로 밀려왔어
따스한 봄날처럼 아픔다웠던 기억
무덥던 지난날에 여름처럼 뜨겁던 우리는 없어
힘없이 떨어지는 낙엽처럼 사랑은 죽어갔고
오지 않을 것 같던 겨울은 결국 내게로 찾아왔어
사람은 차가운 사랑을 할 운명인걸
사랑을 나는 못 믿어 이젠…

그대 때문에 숨을 쉴 수 있어요
그대 때문에 웃을 수가 있어요
참 이상하게 웃어도 눈물이 흘러요(바보처럼)

그대는 아직 내 가슴에 살아요
그대 가슴엔 내가있나요?
나 사는 동안 (숨쉬는 동안) 나 그대를 잊지 못해요…

난 너 때문에 숨쉬고 난 너 때문에 웃는 사람
난 너 때문에 아프고 난 너 때문에 우는 사람
내가 잘못한 게 있으면 용서해줘 배로 갚을게
다시 만날 수만 있다면 어떤 일이든 다 할텐데

아직도 그댈 잊을 수가 없어요
그대 흔적은 지워지질 않아요
참 꿈만 같던 우리의 소중한 추억만 (쌓여가요)

아직도 그댈 기다리고 있어요
그대는 지금 어디 있나요
참 이상하죠 (시간이 가도) 웃어도 눈물만 흘러요…

Please come back to me,
Please come back to me
Please come back to me Girl~

L O V E IS . . . .

not letting her down ....

외톨이야 . . .

Everyone on the planet has had this happen. You’ve got a best buddy who suddenly goes MIA because there is a significant other that didn’t used to be there before. Guys do it to their friends. Girls do it to their friends. Everybody has had it done to them. It’s a universal incident, but when it happens, it’s hard to deal with.

It’s not just an age thing either. I remember it happening to me in junior high, high school, college and even now, in my adult life. I have one girlfriend who has been MIA for months because of a flooring expert. I must say that I’ve been able to deal with this smashingly this time because I finally understand it now.

Firstly, you have to realize it for what it is. You’re still her best friend. She still loves you just as much as she did before. Just because she doesn’t call you, doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like you. Just because she doesn’t instant message you every five minutes doesn’t mean that she has replaced you. I know it feels like you’ve been replaced, but there is no replacing a best friend, not even with a boyfriend.

Secondly, be patient. I can tell you right now that she’s going to flake on you. You’re going to set up something that you are really excited about and she’s going to blow you off to be with her new boyfriend. It’s going to happen and you are going to get hurt. The best way to handle it is tell her the truth. The truth is: your feelings are hurt, but you feel like you can’t say anything because you want her to be happy with this guy. She needs to know that your feelings are hurt, but don’t call her a flake. She’s not a flake, she’s in love. Being in love blinds your vision for a short amount of time.

Thirdly, watch your mouth. Understand that you are feeling jealous and watch your words when you talk about him. Jealousy can make you say things that you don’t really mean and maybe aren’t even true. Did she meet him after a drunken night in a seedy bar? That’s not your concern. Does he dress like a homeless guy? That’s not your concern. Does he talk about his mother so much that it seems like there is an unhealthy attachment? It’s still not your concern. It only becomes your concern if he is hitting or verbally abusing her. Then it’s your time to step in. If that hasn’t happened, be careful what you say about him. This guy could be “The One” and you might end up double dating with him for the rest of your adult life. Don’t let a jealous remark carelessly flung from your lips come between you and your friend.

Lastly, remember that she will return to you. If he is “The One” she will still need you to be her best friend. Things will be different for her, but these are the kinds of things that keep friendships interesting and flourishing. Instead of complaining to you about not having a date for Saturday night, she’ll be complaining about him not picking up his socks. That’s not so very different, is it? Don’t worry. You will have your friend back, even if he is “The One.”

If he’s not as wonderful as all that, she will run back to you with red eyes and angry words. This is not the time to be bitter. This is not the time to remind her of all the times she flaked on you when you needed her. This is also not the time to say that you saw it coming, even if you did. This is the time to be understanding and caring. No matter how hard it is to say that the minute you saw his beat up and rusted pickup, you knew that he would be nothing more than an out-of-work bum, you need to keep your mouth shut and be the good friend that she remembers. That’s what you are, after all. You’re her best friend.

In short, life changes. If something is bad, don’t worry, it will pass. If something is good, don’t worry, it will pass. No matter how much we would like it, nothing in this life stays the same. There is no escaping it.

resource: "http://laura.moncur.org/archives/2004/04/03/2004-04-03-05-00/"

네가 미워 . . .

She's just tooooooooooooooooooooo damn sexy, I'd do her. Johannson > Tatum. Fuck yes.

---------------

Stepdad is back but it still feels the same. Hah, it's kinda cute seeing my parents back together but it's also kind of sickening. Hope this is the end of the drama at home.

im just here for your amusement . . .

OH MY BLOG. How I've missed you so much.

My internet got cut off for about two weeks I think. Mother didn't pay the bill so I took care of it, like a good girl that cares so much about her family should... *ahrmm*

Not much good news.
My stepdad is still... not home. He's still sleeping in the car somewhere. Sad really. I saw him yesterday before I headed into the city and had a small chat with him. I told him to go home, it's not like me to do something like that. He said he would go home but my mum won't let him and he said something else, I don't remember what, although I remember saying "What about the kids? What about me?" He bowed his head down, looked really upset. Tears were forming in my eyes but I tried to hold them back. My bus came so I told him I had to go - my voice all, retardedish? You know when you're about to cry and it feels like something's stuck in your throat? It makes it hard to talk? Well, yeah, it sounded high pitched and cracky, like a guy just reached his puberty (not really but you catch my drift)

I got to the city hoping not to see someone but unfortunately I did. Faked a smile, said hello, etc. Met up with Ching and had a d&m with her, which only lasted about ten minutes but she told me things I needed to know. Things that I guess, hurt but also makes me stronger and able to move on from whatever the blah blah blah slacking off now.

Clubbing was................. actually kind of shit because I was distracted. Got home at 4:30am then got ready to go to the airport to drop off my Grandma because she's flying off to Vietnam.
Saw the most adorable Korean baby, he had the chubbiest cheeks ever and was stuffing his face with food. My baby sister just sat on my lap staring at him. Yes, she will follow in my footsteps when she grows up. She will absolutely adore Koreans :D lmfao.

Sigh & Bye.

imma have you drunk and throwin' upppp.

Indecisive. Should I jailbreak my iphone or... no? I'm scared I'll fuck it up if I do it.

Anyway, had a massive weekend. Just hung out a bit on Friday with Maverick, Kevbo and Phillip. Bused it hope with Kylie, Mel, Dinh and Phillip - tad awkward. ZzzZzz. Wasn't looking forward to going clubbing on Saturday night, had shit on my mind but I forgot Ching was going as well so yeah, basically ended up going and stayed until 4:30am. Ching and Michael Kwong make a cute couple, no joke.
Went to Spring Hill, Oxygen apartment yesterday for Daeyoung's farewell. Bugger, why are all the people I recently met going back to their hometown? It's depressing!!! Will miss you a lot Daeyoung Oppa.

So yeah, the weekend was great yet tiring, I'm still exhausted, thinking of not going out this weekend just to catch up on sleep but it doesn't look like that's going to happen because I have Andy and Hanh's to go to on Friday, not to mention, Klub Kandy is on, on Thursday night! Although I don't think I'll end up going to that because I have work early the next morning. I should really quit clubbing. So, I'm thinking, after work on Friday, I'm going to the city for a bit? Because I want to see someone that I don't want to see - makes sense right? :P I have to be at Southbank by 6pm then I'M ON A BOAT BITCHES.

Tsunami? Hah. I actually wanted to sit at the coast at watch that.

Hmm, yeah, another week of work. Fuck me sideways, twice over and I need to chuck a shit right now.

PS: someone please buy me a new fishtail lip bar with the ball at the end of it. I lost the ball on mine, went to buy a new ball for it and lost it about ten minutes later