fallen leaves, fallen leaves on the ground.

seriously am not gonna say sorry.

it's just a little complicated.

Dearest PV,

I'm sorry. Sorry that you'll regret this one day because this will be your loss. I want my money back as soon as possible. The sooner I get it back, the sooner I can finally get you out of my life for good. I have no more time to waste on a pathetic piece of shit like you.

This was the first time I have been complete and utterly stupid for someone. Doing all these stupid things, giving you everything all because I like you. I'm getting nothing in return so I don't see the point of sticking around anymore.

I honestly saw something special in you - a good kind of special - but now that I think of it, there is nothing special about you, at all. You are misleading. You took advantage of my trust and I feel as if you're only using me.

You deserved to crash and burn on your last relationship. I am a bitch to say it but I'm only speaking the truth.

Yours hatefully,
Wendy.

this wont be the first time that you stood me up.

Blerrrrrrr, FML.

I'm so sick of my parents arguing and shit. This is the longest they've stopped talking to eachother and I'm getting a little bit worried. Mum chucked a tantrum before.. I'm not in the mood.

PV isn't talking to me. I don't think I did anything wrong. It's something small, why is he taking it so seriously? He told me not to turn small things into a big deal. I'm over the fact that he left the party I was at to go to his friends - not really - but I understand where he had to be. I do now, anyway. Texted him yesterday to see where he was because I was stranded at Inala at 11pm - taxi took one hour to come - and he didn't reply. He hasn't texted me at all today and he was also meant to take me to Korean BBQ as a birthday dinner that he owes me. CANCELLED.

Cried my eyes out. Gone crazy, on the floor. If it isn't enough drama happening at home, I don't think I need more shit.

PV, I'm tired. It hurts me writing this. We are NOTHING but "good friends" as you say and I respect that. It doesn't matter if you don't feel the same way as I do, just as long as I know you're always going to be here for me like I will be for you..

djhfaskdfhs I'm giving you everything but I'm getting nothing in return. It's not something I usually do and I feel so stupid right now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is the third Sunday in a row I've cried and I don't want to anymore. Out of these Sunday's, Ernie has always been there for me to help cheer me up.

He's always there for me. He tries so much.
I don't see him in any other way than a friend right now but I wish I could see him more than that.

I made my decision tonight. PV, you forgot dinner. I will forget you now.

all i want for christmas is....................

1. New white Sony laptop with Windows7.
   
2. "L" corner, study table, preferably black.
   
3. A massive photo frame with pictures of me and friends :P
   
4. Another photo album with pictures of me and friends.
5. A couch, one that could also substitute as my bed.
6. If not a couch, then a new double bed + bed frames with drawers... or a bed that turns into a desk.. or has a desk :D
   
7. Someone to repaint my room.
8. A new wardrobe that isn't sooooo huge.
9. Playstation 3 or Nintendo DSi.
10. Carpet floors.
11. MONEY! $1000 will do me okay but if you're awesome then $10000.
12. You.
    

HAHA no one will read this.. sigh. Hopefully a good friend or someone in my family wins the lotto one day and spoils me rotten xxxx

feels like im hanging on a thread.

I think I'm about to let go...

your eyes & your mouth are saying different things..

The cat's got my tongue... or I'm just really scared to admit.

Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you couldn't because you're too scared of their reaction? -sigh- I'm feeling that right now.

I want to tell him soooooooo badly, that I miss him but I'm scared that he'd push me away or lead me on?! .. I don't know. Maybe he'll react in a good way but I'm just really doubting that right now since he's 'not ready'

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!
I get good vibes though. Bler.

What's gay is that I have him on Facebook and he just fucking deletes my comments. I'm sure he knows that I like him and even though we're NOTHING but friends right now it hurts sooooo much seeing him talking to other girls.
Things I hear from my friends are killing me too. The smallest damn things.

What are you doing to me?!

~ Would you rather... A lie that draws a smile or the truth that draws a tear?

Please let me know how you feel because this is hurting me too much.

zhe shi ai ...

Hmm, i'm missing you too much now.

close my eyes so i can see you.

I thought it'd be the hardest thing, again, explaining to someone why I bailed on a date. Always the usual "I've lost feelings" Nope, not this time.

I think I'm maturing. I used to be this person that couldn't explain jack shit to someone but I've been working on it and I've been able to in quite a few situations. It feels good to be honest but it sucks when the person you're being honest to doesn't take it too well. I'm talking about this one person here but I won't name which I really should because the other person I had problems with might think it's him but then again there's no point because no one really reads this shit, LOL.

Did nothing at all today. Well, slept in, bailed on Ernie (I AM SOOO SORRY), played tetris beta, walked the dog, and then:

Hung out with a friend before, he told me about some problems and he looked like he was about to cry. Majorly made me feel so bad, so sorry for him and I wanted to give him a huge hug and just comfort him but I didn't know if that would have made things awkward. Haha shucks.

Anyway, I won't bother writing much tonight. It's getting late, I'm tired and I have other things to think about..

I love Natalie. she's the maddest egg ever (egg: white outside, yellow inside. GET IT?! You're so asian Natalie)